


But What If We Try This?

by knowledgeiscake



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Endgame fix it, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), it can all work out just trust me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 10:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18826612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knowledgeiscake/pseuds/knowledgeiscake
Summary: Endgame Fix-It Fic for all your aching hearts.





	But What If We Try This?

     “Do you remember that time I turned into a baby?”

     Steve dragged his eyes away from his phone to look up at Scott Lang, face covered in crumbs and hand shoved down (stuck in?) a can of Pringles.

     “It sticks out in my memory as one of the times you almost died, yeah.”

     Scott grinned, taking a seat next to Steve, clearly settling in for a long conversation that Steve didn’t want to have. It had been a week since he’d revealed himself to the “present day” Avengers. A week since he’d given the shield to Sam, a week since he’d had to face the consequences of his choices, and one week and 76 years since Bucky had spoken to him. Steve had been staring at his phone for the better part of the day, too cautious to reach out first, but too realistic to think Bucky would do it for him.

     He’d made a promise that he would come back, and though it hadn’t been an outright lie, he’d broken the spirit of his oath. He’d come back old and creaky and not the man that Bucky knew. Steve had risked his life again and again on a chance that he and Bucky could be friends again. Could have something of a normal life. But Steve had made the choice to spend that normal life with Peggy.

     And he didn’t regret it.

     Except sometimes, when he did.

     Bucky hadn’t seemed angry, but then again he hadn’t really seemed anything. He’d just walked away after the exchange with Sam. Either he was upset about what Steve had done… or worse, he didn’t care at all. Whichever it was, Steve’s heart was breaking. Right now, all he really wanted to do was continue wallowing undisturbed, but Scott Lang had other plans.

     “So I was thinking about it, and one of two things happened there. Either it took me back to the moment my life began, which seems arbitrary and unlikely based on the fact that I could hold my head up and I wasn’t, like a gross raisin gremlin baby.”

     Steve was nodding politely, but most of his focus was elsewhere if he was being honest.

     “OR, the alternative is that it just clean hacked 50 years off my life, and since I turned 50 in July that made me a little less than a year old. And then when I got old it added 50 years, so I was 100 and I was a gross raisin gremlin man. No offense.”

     “None taken.”

     Scott freed his hand and popped another chip in his mouth. “Anyway, so I was thinking we could probably do that to you if you want.”

     Steve blinked. Maybe he’d been paying less attention than he thought. “You lost me. Do what?”

     “Take 50 years off. Or more, if we can figure out how to do it precisely. But I thought then you could have it both ways, you know? Have a life with your girl and have a life here. You wouldn’t be the age you were necessarily, but you’d be able to-“

     It was like someone had taken the volume on Scott’s voice and slowly faded it out. His mouth was still moving, but Steve couldn’t process any of the words coming at him. He could have both. He could grow old with Peggy and with Bucky. He’d thought about trying to rescue Bucky back in the 40’s, but he knew that would create a divergent timeline and he’d never get to see the present day Bucky again. And it would be strange enough, asking Bucky to live with him and Peggy, without the stigma of…

     Things had changed since those days. Things about Steve, things about Bucky, things about the world. The feelings themselves were different. Whether that was a function of the times or rescuing his best friend for the tenth time, he couldn’t really say. But Steve knew that there was something more between this version of Bucky and himself. And maybe if he could be young again, could have another life…

     “You’re sure you can do this?” Steve interrupted whatever tangent Scott had been on.

     He shrugged, “I mean yeah. I talked about it with the Dr Pyms and they said it would probably work. Not on everyone, but because of the serum they gave you, your whole body is wired differently. You’d most likely live to 150 anyways, regardless of whether we do this or not. But this way you won’t look-“

     “Raisiny?” Scott turned a little red but Steve just smiled, “I know what you mean. I look older than I feel. I have all this energy but my body doesn’t quite move the same.”

     Relaxing, Scott leaned in and offered a single pringle. “So. You wanna do it?”

-

     Dr. Strange had offered to send Bucky through another portal when the fighting was done, but Bucky had politely declined. The whole thing made his stomach turn the first time, and… and to be honest Bucky wasn’t sure where he wanted to go yet. For now he sat on bed in a dark hotel room, thinking about his options.

     He’d had a home in Wakanda, but that was five years ago. He could hardly expect his goats to be waiting for him. And the farm life had been good for healing, but was that what he wanted for the rest of his life? He could stay in the states, of course. They’d rebuild the Avengers base eventually. Or he could find some kind of hero-for-hire work, or maybe just wrap burritos somewhere. But staying here meant sooner or later he’d run into Steve. And Bucky wasn’t ready to do that.

     He didn’t hate him. That was the worst part. Bucky couldn’t hate Steve making a selfish decision for once in his whole life. The kid was always throwing his life on the line for others, it was only fair that he got a little bit of happiness. And Peggy was great. She’d always been able to see in Steve what Bucky saw. That even past the serum he was an amazing human who should be treasured. They’d probably been great for each other.

     No, Bucky couldn’t hate Steve or Peggy in all of this. He could only be frustrated with himself. For not being good enough, not being strong enough, not being selfless enough. Because Steve hadn’t picked him, and that broke Bucky’s heart. It might have been easier if he could manage to be pissed off. Then at least he’d have somewhere to direct his feelings other than inward like a dying star.

     Of course, Steve was back. It was the same mind and body Bucky knew, just with a thick layer of time and change. At least when Bucky had stopped being the Winter Soldier, Steve still looked the same as the last time they’d seen each other. There was time missing, but he could pretend there wasn’t. Looking at Steve now, only his eyes were the same. The hair was grey, the skin was loose, his posture was hunched, but the eyes were still Steve’s.

     It was selfish and stupid and probably a little ageist, but he wanted _his_ Steve. Of course, his Steve didn’t really exist anymore, did he?

     Bucky was just playing with the idea of going back to Romania when there was a knock at the door.

     “No, thank you,” he called, leaning back and closing his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone. And it was probably Sam, who had the nerve to check on him every six hours.

     “It’s me.”

     Bucky jolted upright, eyes on the door. “Steve?”

     A laugh came from the other side of the cheap wood. “Yeah. Steve. Can we talk?”

     Bucky didn’t respond right away, his instant reaction being to curl up in a ball and never see the light of day again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

     “I just want to show you something.”

     Standing and crossing the room, Bucky was starting to get a little annoyed. “Whatever it is, it can wait till tomorrow.”

     “No, because you’re going to leave tomorrow, aren’t you?” Bucky flinched. “I know you too well, Buck. This is just like every time you broke up with a girl. You never wanted to drag things out.”

     “Are you saying I’m breaking up with you?”

     “Aren’t you?”

     It wasn’t a completely terrible comparison. Bucky leaned against the door, pressing his forehead to cool wood. “Listen, Stevie. I’m not mad. I just… I think this is where we part ways, you know? You made your choices.”

     There was a slight pause before Steve spoke again. “I did. And I’m sorry I hurt you. And if you don’t want to see me again after tonight, I’ll respect that 100%. I just want to do one thing, and then I’m gone.”

     Hand hovering over the door handle, Bucky’s face twisted up in pain. Would it be worth it? Could he stand seeing Steve one more time, just to have their closure? It couldn’t exactly hurt, could it? He’d already gotten a good look at his old friend’s new face. He turned the handle and pulled the door open before he could change his mind.

     “What do you- Steve?”

     “Hi Bucky.”


End file.
